Thursday 24 April 2014

A midnight conversation


I like to talk. I mean, I like to participate in cool conversations. The ones that make you think. And I also like to discuss things with men to see their point of view. Recently I read somewhere that you should listen 70 % and talk only 30 % of the time.

We met for a coffee at 8 p.m. At the beginning there were also his friends but somewhere around midnight we left and went to some other bar. He comes from Germany but lives in Austria. A sports enthusiast who prefers a relaxed lifestyle. I actually didn't recognize him-I had some perception in my head but he looks better in person than he does on the photos :D

We basically talked about everything. I even mentioned my last emotional experience, which is still somewhere in the background of my mind. My friends told me once or twice that I should not be that honest in conversations with men. But if I'm in the right mood I'm going to talk about it.

He said he thinks nowadays in general people don't make much effort when it comes to the man-woman relations. "But opportunities are rare. And because of that you should make an effort when you meet someone special," I replied.

It was obvious that we were both pretty sleepy, but despite that we continued our conversation. We said goodbye at 6 a.m.

It was an interesting experience. Maybe I will visit him this summer in Austria and go to a mountain cycling with him. That should be fun! (:




Wednesday 16 April 2014

Is it hard to find a boyfriend (in Ljubljana)?

My new friend, a girl from Austria, asked me that. "Hmm.. Yes. But that's because I'm choosy." "That's good. It means you have standards." If I look back, I've met potential boyfriends on average every 1,5 years.

Our psychology professor at the faculty said that statistically speaking, the most stable relationships are those which develop from friendships. It's somehow logical to agree with that, because you know that people much better than you know those you meet in a club and who you soon start dating. But there's a catch: it has been said that while men only have one ladder-The real ladder, women have two ladders-also the friends ladder. A ladder is a rating system which everybody has and on which people of the opposite sex are positioned. The friends ladder consists of guys that we are not interested in and what is more important: in general, there is no jumping from the friends ladder to the real ladder.

I was discussing this Ladder Theory with my friend, a guy, and said: "Wait, what if out of nowhere I start feeling attracted to some guy that I have known for a long time and have never been interested in him before? That means that he "jumped" from my friends ladder to the real ladder?" "No, he didn't. He was on your real ladder the whole time, it's just that he was very low positioned." I have to say, that sounded interesting.

My girlfriend and I have always used to say that it's better to be quality alone, than in a low-quality relationship. There's a quote that I recall: "The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man." Lauren Bacall, an american actress and model, said that women always fall in love with the same type of a man. That this is our way of monogamy.

The thing is, that I've been fascinated by a man in the past. You know.."that something". When you could actually forget all the other guys and stay with him. So, what's the point of wanting something less than that?


Saturday 12 April 2014

Life is better when you have cool neighbours


I moved in in 2006, right after the building has been built and the flats have been sold. The flats were ment for students and young people who want to live on their own, so most of them are studio apartments. My friend once said: "Wow, you live in that building? It looks like a building at the seaside!" "Seaside? Why?" "Because it looks totally cool." I laughed :D

Actually, the first 6 years I didn't know a soul there, although it was obvious that the population really was mostly students and young people. Maybe I studied too much and was asocial because of that :D But it's interesting that also my neighbour who lives 2 doors away moved in in 2006, but we first met and became friends in spring last year. About 2 weeks later we met another neighbour and now people from 5 flats out of 9 in our hallway are friends. Now we have a tea party, go for a walk and every now and then someone throws a party. But the police is a rare visitor at the door. I was once joking that neighbours don't call the police because they are all at the party :D 

I remember that a guy from Sweden, who was my neighbour's couchsurfer and we were hanging out together at her place, said he was surprised how people in Slovenia, especially neighbours, hang out together. In his country they don't know their neighbours and don't even say "hi" when they meet. Well, it's known that the Slovenes in general are a pretty open nation :D

To conclude, our building is definitely not an ordinary building in Ljubljana. Its feature are the relations between us. And life is better when you have cool neighbours. (:

The neighbours (:



Thursday 10 April 2014

Couchsurfing


I first used couchsurfing in summer last year. I was staying at my friend's house and didn't need an accommodation, I just found myself a guy for a coffee in Stuttgart, like: meet the locals :D The second time was in winter and this time I was staying at my host's place. A day or two before my trip my friend (a guy) said to me: "You are very brave to go to some random guy's place like that." "Really? Brave?" I didn't even thought about that. But this request was quite unusual, because we have been chatting about 2 months before my visit . I remember I said to his best friend: "He takes care of me." He replied: "We all do." It was a cool scene, watching a movie with 3 guys, I was kind of blessed among men. (:

So far I have hosted 3 guys and one girl. And I have noticed, that we all have something in common: we are all very open. In fact, extremely open people.It's like we trust each other more in 2 days than people usually do in a much longer time. Or even never. It doesn't matter if it's a man-woman or a woman-woman relation, we advise each other quite soon. It's like you make friends with them and you remain friends even after they leave, it's just that they are somewhere in the background. And days you spend with them definitely have an added value. My couchsurfer from Germany was so amusing that when I returned to my flat after his leaving I actually thought to myself: how boring it is now :D

My couchsurfer, a girl, said it's cool because you visit some place and the guy shows you his city. You have a lot of fun but you know that you will leave. I said: "Yes, it's like flirting with life." "Exactly!" Actually I saw some quote: "Traveling is like flirting with life. It's like saying: I would stay and love you but I have to go, this is my station." Most times couchsurfing really is "just" a station, but sometimes..
This week I read a story (it's called A Couchsurfing wedding) about 2 couchsurfers who got married. A guy wrote a letter to the couchsurfing community, telling them about how he hosted his (future) wife. My first thought was: "Waa!" (:


Monday 7 April 2014

The most beautiful place

Slovenia is a smal, but beautiful country. This is the most common description of our country.

Last week I visited Bled with my couchsurfer and her friend. Bled is a number one must see, so it's no surprise that all the tourists (and couchsurfers) go there. We had a really great time, walked around the lake, took a picture, ate the cremeschnitte (: But I have noticed that almost nobody knows Otočec. That is why I say to the tourists: "You should visit Otočec too!" (:

The Otočec Castle (picture taken by my friend)
"If you see a castle under fog, you must walk there to meet the extraordinary dreams."  Otočec is the only water castle in Slovenia and far around. In my opinion it's also the most beautiful place. When I have time I go cycling almost every day and I like to stop there for a chill out. I cycle through the forest to the golf place where I enjoy the peace and clear my mind. That place is so calming.
Me, at the golf place
Me, trying to play golf

There's a hotel in the castle and it's a popular place for weddings. Last year our ice hockey player Anže Kopitar got married here, which is a big compliment. Also Matthew Perry was a guest at this wedding (:

Chill out by the water
Maybe my writing is a bit subjective because I live near there, but anyway: The Otočec Castle is just enchanting!


View from the air





Tuesday 1 April 2014

In my dreams

"Write hard and clear about what hurts." After reading this Hemingway's quote I knew that I'm going to put it in this writing.

About 2 years ago I attended a lecture about a hypnosis and how we can deal stress with its help, which was held at our faculty. The psychotherapist explained us the theory and then guided us through a group hypnosis. We kind of fell into a so called trance and were able to hear and feel the things he suggested us. Although it was not a real hypnosis, it was a pretty cool introduction to it. While going home I thought it would be interesting to go to a real hypnosis someday to explore my subconscious mind :D

It has been said that only about 5 % of our mind is conscious, while 95 % is subconscious. Furthermore, a subconscious mind is even more powerful!
Freud said that dreams are a royal way to a subconscious mind. Clients on his couch often told about their dreams. Jung claimed that dreams can inform us about where we are, where we are going and can show us the possible obstacles on our way. In his opinion, everyone can interpret his own dreams.

Recently I've had very intensive and lively dreams, related to some emotional matter I had not so long ago. I thought I got over it, but the picture in my dreams was completely different. I think it's fascinating , how you think that you moved on, I mean got over some emotional stuff. But then it appears in your dreams, so lively, and you watch yourself how would you actually feel and react about it. In your dreams you see you were wrong about it the whole time..

A week or two later a quote from a movie crossed my mind:
"Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through, or feel we've had enough time."



One of my favourite movies